Come Away with Me

Final decision

2006 is coming to a close and i just thought i will update everyone on my latest direction. After much careful contemplation, which include drawing up a pros and cons list, and asking myself many times over, what are things that matter most, i've decided not to recontract a second year. Yes, i am going home in 2007!

I love my simple life on the island and really enjoy this new found sense of freedom and independence from living on my own. Granted there isn't much here where i am and funny as it may sound but these days even washing my own clothes and preparing meals bring much joy.

People wise, the folks at Narao had been an amazing bunch. No words can really describe the gratitude i feel towards some of these people who had been so kind to a stranger from the beginning. I've since lost count of the endless invites to home dinners and the various things i received from people,fruits and vegetables, winter wear and home appliances, you name it. To date, i've not taken public transport to anywhere on the island (besides commuting to work) as i always get rides wherever i go. The simple generousity i experienced in countryside Japan is really one i will never forget.

On the work front, no one will disagree that an ALT's job is really as easy and stress free as it can get. Which other job in the world can you really think of that gives you an income (a generous one if you come as a fresh grad out of college) and encourages you to take time off to travel and learn about Japan, the culture, language and her people. I get along well with my teacher colleagues and my students are really sweet and always makes me feel like a star in school all the time.

Everything's rosy and good and i feel very settled now after having been here for almost half a year so you might ask why go home then? Well, i thought before i came and the fact is i still think that a year is really too short a time, with the amount of preparation i went through to be where i am now.

Basically i've gone through all the possible reasons why i would like to extend my stay and i came to realise that one of the main reason is because i still do not have much clue what i want to do when i return to Singapore. In a way, choosing to continue on is to procrastinate making a more difficult decision. Being an ALT is fun but in all honesty, i think i can only do this job for a year. That having said, it does not mean that i miss the feeling of being in a rat race in the corporate world. The first year is indeed an eye opener in many aspects, even though this isn't my first visit to the country. I enjoy my interaction with students and the locals here and just learning new things about the country and myself everyday but i feel pangs of guilt knowing deep down that the reason to stay is to prolong returning back to reality.

I would love to have more time to explore and travel Japan and to brush up my still rather flailing Japanese but i am afraid TIME is not on my side (not to say i am very old ;p). If i'm like so many others on the program and came straight out from school, i would certainly choose to stay on for a year or two more. Somehow, after the long drawned deliberation and my bf's incessant reminder to go home after a year, i've finally decided that a one year stay is certainly the most sensible time frame for me. In the earlier months when i still couldn't make up my mind about recontracting, i tested the water and he was rather upset at the idea. I guess it's also only fair to him after all as i sort of promised him in the beginning that i am gonna be away for a year only. Leading a 'single' and carefree life is enjoyable but i've since come to realise too the joy is doubled when spend with a loved one, whatever you do and wherever part of the world you are in.

The final reason is because i want to spend as much time with my family, especially my mother, as i can before i get married sometime in the future. Funny as it may sound to some, and i know that Singapore is not such a huge place so there are still plenty of chance to see Mommy after getting married, but it is just not the same as living together. Moreover, work these days might just get you anywhere and i can't dismiss the possibility of working abroad again some time in the future. In the next few years, there are gonna be many changes at home and it will take some getting used to for everyone i guess with Rosie getting married next year and moving out and Daddy still working and commuting between KL and Singapore. In short, it's just time to be home.

It pained me to make this decision but i was quite amazed how good i felt after i made up my mind on this issue. Instead of agonizing, should i or should i not, i enjoy everyday more as i know that this is gonna be my only autumn, winter, spring and summer in Japan cos i know next year this time i would be home again.

If only they have such a thing as an one and a half year contract, that would make everything much easier. A side consideration is also the fact that i stay on an island and it does get really inconvenient at times. It is a great experience for a year, living the super island countryside life but a second year here i am afraid it may get a little trying and the last thing i want is to start feeling out of sort and wish that time would pass faster so i can go home soon.

So there and then, my mantra for my short stay abroad is to have a fantabulous one year and bring home with me plentiful fond memories to cherish than to stay on for the sake of staying and have a so-so 2 years.

posted by テレサ @ 9:47 PM